tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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