I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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