What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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