so explain again why im purple
no
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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