Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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