you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize