I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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