i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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