i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
