You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
