im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
