Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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