There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize