I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
