It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
