um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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