"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Say something about gay babies.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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