I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
