Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We named our party play list daddy issues
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
