yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
