That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize