So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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