Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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