I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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