If that was your dad, he is hot
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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