Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
