i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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