You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
