ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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