i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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