real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
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he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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