Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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