Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
No subtext here. People are naked.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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