we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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