Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
