I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she told me i tasted like america
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
