Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
