moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
