am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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