he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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