Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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