hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
