More tranny stories later!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
