no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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