okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
