I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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