U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My feet surprised me
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
