And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
