I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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