FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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