you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
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i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
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Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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