Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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