Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize