This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
