She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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