let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
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What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.