Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.