Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
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today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
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all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.