Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like