Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.