I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner