your parents love me but you hate me
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
